Early this week, on 8th December, I lost my badimummy to death. It was my husband’s birthday. What a day God had chosen! Lost a beloved on the day another loved one was born. The thought to pen down this piece has filled me up with a bag of emotions. One that I do not wish to attempt to write but attempt I must to vent out my pent-up emotions. This is my cathartic release.
Badimummy (my mother’s co-sister-in-law) was critically ill since last 2 years. Doctors had done their best to extend her lifeline but this was the maximum they could stretch her short lifespan. Badimummy was a motherly figure to me. Did you note the change from ‘is’ to ‘was’? That is what death does to us. In a second our loved ones transgress from present tense to past tense. Death should be credited as the best teacher of the form of tense. Death emotionally upgrades you from being a child to an adult. God gives us the umbrella of parents and death is the harsh storm that snatches it away. Death is a harsh reality that we fathom as a distant reality until we are jolted by its occurrence. Mortal beings perish leaving behind immortal relationships. People toil hard to build a beautiful life together. What remains are beautiful memories. Rest everything turns to ash and dust, literally.
My heart weeps for my badimummy. No one can capture the loving image of his beloved than the heart of the bereaved one who mourns the loss of his lost one. When the heart weeps it numbs all the rationalities that a mind has to offer. There is a saying, ‘Don’t be sad that you lost a beloved but be happy that it happened’. I shall cherish my relationship with her to my death. But what do I do when I have lost her to this immortal world. I mourn, I weep, I console.
God cannot be everywhere so he created parents. Parents with an expiry date! People console me saying that the souls of our beloved ones shall always walk with us. Wouldn’t it be nice if I could do walk the talk with them? The goodbyes that are never said are the most painful.
Mourners come and mourn your loss and depart for their homes. It is the heart of the bereaved one who wonders about the new home of his lost beloved. I shall miss all your love, warmth and affection badimummy. Even god cannot shower the love upon a child that a mother can. God has the world to take care of but for a mother, the child is her world. I pray that God showers all his love and affection on the soul of my badimummy and congratulates her for a job well done. This is the prayer of a daughter who looks up to the skies from the earth beneath to catch a glimpse of her loved one. I shall reunite with her in heaven someday. Love you and miss you dearly badimummy.